Macs are just so much more stable than Windows PCs…

(for Andre)

Can anyone help with this software problem my friend is experiencing?

Eighteen months ago he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which he’d used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-program, Party Girl 2.1 had many bugs and left a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually he tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware.

Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only to discover that this product has to be upgraded to Wife 1.0. He did this largely because, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000. However my friend discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes he made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted, they then resurfaced months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip. These latter products have no helpfiles and he has to try and guess the problem himself.

Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0 bundle that came with the original system needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser Pro for new attachments and Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every other week. It also conflicted with some of the new games he wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to his Audi TT programme it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can’t be turned off.

Recently he’s been tempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.